Funny wtf of the week!

I was at a government building for about two minutes yesterday afternoon in downtown louisville, KY. After a confused parallel parking truck, and me looking like a bit++ swooping in behind him real quick because I thought he was trying for the space ahead, not behind this man pulled up. 
 He was a bleached tipped man straight out of the 90's, with the sunglasses and backwards cap to match. Hes even got a backpack to boot! Now I know we don't all have the luxury of owning a car, and some of us have to make due with other types of transportation. That may or may not have been the case here. Maybe he's so stuck in reliving the 90's he just cant bare to let this baby go!
 What made this bike even better than the obvious white gold like duct tape accesories, luxury garbage bag seat cover (obviously the most fabulous Glad garbage bags!), the seat even lifted up to expose a hidden compartment where he hid his gnarly and dirty backpack/ man purse, and the ripped handlebar with some sort of foam coming out of it like it needed any more amazing character was the fact that he got off the bike, backed it up and stood there for a moment as if contemplating the meaning of life. After a moment of this deep thought, he then moved his bike forward a few inches and sat staring a moment more. Then he went through every compartment, moved his bottle of water three times to three different compartments and double checked the rest. I didn't know what his plan was, but at this moment I'm stuck in suspense. I need to know what hes going to do with this monstrosity! Will he light it on fire since putting it down is obviously the most humane thing to do with this obviously too old bike? Will he give it a kiss and hug good bye because he loves it more than anything and cannot say good bye even when it was time to ten years ago? Who knows?! But I was about to find out.
 He spends another minute or two spacing the bike perfectly between my mini Cooper and this huge truck from the beginning, but still on the sidewalk and once he feels it's absolutely centered and perfectly symmetrical against the meter he uses a bike lock and chains his bike to the meter and walks inside the building. Does he offer to help chip in on the time for the meter? Of course not! This man is the truly cheap! We can tell that by his version of personal auto repairs. Awe! Duct tape! The mans go to fix all. I left shortly after this after my husband came walking out and I pointed out this beautiful disaster. So I don't know what adventures they continued to have but I assure you by the end of this hogs life it will be a shiny mass of duct tape and plastic and belong in some independent art museum. 
 "The brain is the most outstanding organ. It works 24 hours a day, 365 days a year until it falls in love." We see proof of that here. 
 This is our weekly hilarious wtf. Stay tuned for more.