Rape culture exists in cyber bullying. Proof in my experiment.

                   RAPE CULTURE ACCEPTANCE!

      Is it the norm now? Results from my social                             experiment are here!

If you got raped and wore something perceived as protective it is your fault. Or so that's what people believe here in America. Unfortunately this conversation and opinion is where it all started. This comment was a question and everyone had an opinion. Most people eventually tried to be politically correct and lie and say that no they didn't believe that was right or true but their actions speak louder than words.

 If a woman shows her body in a fitness picture, a picture where shes perceived as being sexy, a picture where she's covered up more than the average girl on the beach but wearing an outfit thats seen as "slutty" WILL be harassed online. I tested this theory recently and sacrificed my own privacy to find out the truth and hopefully make a change. These are the pictures I posted:

Keep in mind it was stated on my profile I was in a relationship. I constantly stated I don't accept messages because people kept being vulgar. I asked not to be tagged in a vulgar manner and that I was not looking for anything or a boyfriend.  If anyone had bothered to look they would have seen that I was a makeup artist/ model and makeup blogger and bullying advocate but no one cared to look past my chest. Again this was my fault. Rape culture at its finest. When I would say I wasn't interested a few men like a man named Gavin Tidrick started trying to prevent other people from talking to me by calling me fake, a bitch, etc. When I proved I was real and blocked him he proceeded to stalk me on instagram trying to say anything he could to get to me like "wear a bra that fits" in a makeup picture where my breasts were in my shirt and not the focus of the picture. Needless to say I blocked him but shouldn't have had to take the abuse. Next up we have Dean Kemo Kempster again on Facebook outright saying it's my fault I get treated that way because of my pics and saying I'm lonely and heartbroken and blame them. I showed a picture of my beautiful family lol. Blocked. I go back to the messages and they both were basically obsessed and trying so hard to get with me and were so upset when they realized I wasn't interested and that none of them had a chance. Keep in mind they all would have known that by READING any of my posts.

 Men were constantly saying "I want to sex you. Contact me now" "nice titties, juicy ass, I want to fuck that", etc. And then when I said I didn't want to be treated that way just because they had the opinion that I was being provactive I was attacked by both men and women. This will be gone into further shortly. The men and women both said "you deserve it because half your tits are hanging out", "why would anyone want to get to know you when your body is an open book.", "maybe if you didn't dress so slutty you wouldn't get treated like a slut", "put some clothes on if you're going to bitch about people saying they want to fuck you.", "don't add horny men and then complain when they say they want to fuck you", "it's your fault your being treated this way because of how your dresses.", "it's not our fault we talk to you that way when you put your body out there.", etc. 

Click on any image to enlarge it.

 This is all exactly the same thing as saying you deserved to get raped because he perceived you as being too sexy. Men and women both think a woman is "asking for it" if she dresses sexy. She couldn't possibly be dressing sexy for herself so she can feel sexy and confident. It must be because she wants to be harassed by men and women right? Wrong. Women dress in clothes that make them feel pretty and attractive every day. Every woman does this. The only thing that's different is each person's definition of what they perceive as fashionable and what looks good on them. Because something is different women start to feel threatened. If a woman feels that another woman is prettier or showing too much skin many women get uncomfortable and either attack this woman to her face or gossip about get behind her back to others and get involved in shit talking, hurtful conversation with other women. Men dress in a way that makes them feel attractive as well but for some reason there's a huge double standard.

Women tear each other apart constantly and consistently. Instead of building each other up and fighting for acceptance of women's sexual freedom which includes being open about our sexual needs and fulfilling them without being judged and making each other feel bad about it, dressing sexy in order to feel sexy and confident on any day, self expression with clothes you deem stylish to you no matter if they are perceived as provocative by others or not, etc we are constantly tearing each other down because of a perceived threat that she's prettier, she's sexually free and it makes you uncomfortable for whatever reason, you're scared she's a slut and will take your man, you can't stand that she makes you feel inadequate, etc. 

 This change needs to start with us. We as women need to feel confident in ourselves so we aren't threatened by other women. When we stop feeling threatened we can start being there for each other and building each other up and building true friendships. Every woman wants other woman that they can trust and that will be a friend who's accepting and gives unconditional love and more. Unfortunately you can't expect this when you act like a person that treats others in a way that you definitely wouldn't want to be treated.

 When women accept bad treatment of women because of the way they look or are seen by others it shows men that they have the right to treat us that way and that it's accepted. It's a domino effect. Men want women and so they emulate how women treat other women to show that they are similar since that's physiologically more accepted than a potential partner who's different from you. It all comes down to our basic human need to be attached and settle down and be loved and to love someone. 

This backfires though because when they see women treat other women that way then they think it's ok to not only treat the "too sexy" women badly but also their partners. That means you. They think it's ok to cheat because it's what you expect by showing that you're threatened by a sexy or proactively dressed woman. If this changed and it became unacceptable to treat a woman as a cum dumpster whether you have a girlfriend or not and we showed men that as women we band together and believe we all need and deserve respect, honesty, love and more. Then men would treat us that way too. 

 It also goes back to lessons taught as a child. Treat others how you would want to be treated. When people see you treating others in a judging and mean manner they think it's ok to treat you and other women that way as well.

Also most Americans are Christians but despite the fact that they believe in god and Jesus they don't live their religion. Jesus helped the whore and the leper before he would ever have helped the tax collector or the king. He stood in front of the whore about to be stoned for her perceived sins and said those without sin cast the first stone. No one could. Jesus said as long as you live by my one rule to love everyone equally and treat everyone as you love them you will never sin. Yet these "religious jesus believers" are some of the first to attack women for anything that makes you uncomfortable.

 No matter if a woman wears a bikini, her underwear, a low cut shirt, a short skirt, short shorts, a spandex dress, etc. And you as a man perceived her as being sexy does NOT mean she's asking for your harassment. If the first thing you say to her is "fuck me" without asking if shes even interested or if it's ok to talk to her that way it is most definitely harassment. She is absolutely NOT asking for it. There's no way if she adds a man as a friend that she could know he would treat her that way. That's like telling the raped woman if she wasn't around men it wouldn't have happened because all men are horny and she should have known and expected that. That's ridiculous. 

 Every woman deserves respect no matter if she's sexually "promiscuous" or not. Women who are sexually open and take what they want like men do are generally happier and have better and more honest relationships because they have no sexual hang ups. She should not be punished for that. It may not be something you would be comfortable doing but the fact that we are all different makes this a beautiful world. Thats why we need to accept and celibrate each others differences instead of attacking them.

It's no different than attacking someone for an alternative lifestyle, same sex relationships, being poor (not quite an alternative lifestyle but you get my point), being sexually liberated, being in a polyamorous relationship, being bisexual, etc. Our differences are beautiful and we all still deserve respect.

The majority of people would never walk up to a woman being raped on a beach being raped or harassed and say "oh well, it's your fault because I can see your cleavage and shape of your ass" and since everyone on Facebook is showing that or less there is no reason to allow harassment. 

It's time to stick up for each other. Women and men stand up for those who are harassed online and in real life. Don't join in because it teaches our young girls that they should expect that treatment and we end up hurting them in the long run. If you wouldn't allow or like if someone treated your sister, mother, daughter, aunt, etc. That way don't do it to others. We are all someones daughter. 

Let's make a change. Let's help the girls of our future. It's already hard enough watching every perfect looking woman on tv while growing up and feeling inadequate, trying to figure out who you are, trying to find love and happiness, and make it in life and become who we are. Accepting this bullying culture hurts all our children and continues this treatment by teaching boys to treat women this way and girls to allow this treatment. I'm scared for my daughter. 

Please stop the bullying and be the person you would want to be friends with and treat others how you would want people to treat your daughters and mothers and sisters. 

I'm begging you.

Share this please spread the word. It's important.

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